Self Help Book Review: The Let Them Theory, by Mel Robbins

The Let Them Theory is available as a book or Audiobook

ROSIE LOVES SELF-HELP BOOKS! She has a metaphorical and literal bookshelf groaning with them... most of them are in the form of Audiobooks which she likes to listen to whilst out walking, or at night using eye mask headphones. So these little "book reviews" are very much Rosie's own reflections on books she has found particularly inspiring and helpful, and will be dotted into this blogsite as and when she can share them with you.

Mel Robbins researched for and wrote this book following a "lightbulb moment" when she realised she spent way too much time trying to influence other people's lives - mainly those of her immediate family - but to no avail. People will only do what they want to do, she realised - what appeals to them in the moment. Even if it is not in what you consider to be their best interest. And so it is best to just "let them" do what they want to do.

But Mel stresses that this is NOT the same as saying "Let it go", which suggests washing your hands of the situation - that you don't care. So she introduces a second step to the process: "Let me". Because you can only control yourself and what you do. Once you have stepped back from trying to control the other person, you can take your own actions in response, perhaps by living in such a way that you inspire the other person to change, or do something, but of their own volition. And you can help and support them during this process.

The ideas in this book were inspired and supported by her collaboration with various respected researchers and psychologists. The main interesting points that Rosie took away from reading this are:

1) Most adults are emotionally just eight year old kids in a big body! Hence the emotional reaction of pouting, or silent treatment, or rebellion when you try to tell them something they don't want to hear!

2) When you try to tell someone something they don't want to hear, like "you need to lose weight", their brain literally just blocks it out. It's been physically shown on brain scans, apparently.

3) People believe that warnings etc don't apply to them! That they are the exception to the rule.

The book's simple idea has been so popular that it has inspired thousands of people to get tattooed with the words "Let them". Rosie has done this using temporary "transfer" tattoos!